Letting go of lifelong love is not easy.
Today I am feeling very low. Surprisingly, I am not angry.
Because I think it turned to hatred. I know it is difficult to understand when it relates to Letting go of lifelong love for someone I loved so dearly till yesterday.
The fact is that we are totally wrong in thinking that we love from our heart. It is a total misconception. Actually, we love first from our mind. Then sometime later it gets transmitted to the heart.
And therein lies the root of the Problem in failing relationships.
When we love from the heart it is unreasonably fixated.
When we love from the mind, it is realistic. It considers all factors and only then decides to put that spark in the heart.
Once in the heart, it remains etched into permanency until it is so broken that it goes back into the mind, which throws it off.
Till yesterday, I kept ignoring all the signals, I knew that the time had moved on yet I believed we could still make it work.
After years of trying to convince about how truly deep my love was but when we met yesterday my heart, my mind, my sense of touch, smell and hearing AND my intuitive sixth sense all came together.
And I guess the message came loud and clear.
My heart let go of that deep feeling and sent it to my mind to analyze. In a way I guess the subconscious part of the mind had already known it; and it was now that the conscious mind analyzed and, in a way, approved the break-up and decided on Letting go of lifelong love.
I am so surprised and as I write this. I am wondering whether this is just a transient feeling of anger. And I know that while there are anger and sadness, the circle is complete.
A crack in the heart.
A remembrance of wonderful times we shared together will always remain; experiencing the most beautiful feeling that is so rare.
What would I do with the pictures I had collected over the past years? How would I look at them?
Today, I deleted them all.
Time has come to forget and move on.
There is sadness and wonder if there would be another such phase ever in my life again.
At the moment, I just want to sleep.