Most of us live our lives like chameleons; trying to “blend-in” by moulding our personalities and beliefs based on others opinions.
We trade our authentic self for security of being accepted and liked by our family, friends, peer groups as well as colleagues because of our fear of being judged as per their way of thinking.
And what does that lead to?
By suppressing our opinions, we are perceived as “good person” or “easy going”; But at a heavy cost.
We disrespected ourselves by allowing others to have an influence on some of the most crucial and major decisions of our lives. We end up not trusting ourselves to make our own choices.
We withhold our thoughts and emotions and convey mixed signals or simply end up accepting something that we do not inherently like. Our frustration often turns into anger and that leads to guilt, shame, and anxiety. This is certainly a huge price to pay just so that others accept and like us!
This also destroys our confidence as well as self-worthiness.
The only real solution to this is acceptance of what you are. You do not have to confirm to others beliefs but should be authentic.
Authenticity requires soul searching, commitment and hard work. Here are a few ideas to do so-
Step 1: Self love and forgiveness
Start by honoring and accepting the past by cultivating kindness towards yourself. Always be content and kind to yourself by stopping to blame yourself (or your luck) for whatever happened.
Step 2: Willingness to own your past mistakes and make a positive change.
Owning up own shortcomings and mistakes is the best way to repair our confidence and self-worth. Therefore make a commitment to change this.
Step 3: Creating a daily self-practice.
A daily practice of being truthful to yourself and living authentically takes care of the mind, body, as well as the spirit and nurtures a loving relationship with our soul. The following practices should be consciously followed in our life –
- Mindfulness – Authentic people accept challenges and deal with situations calmly and display gratitude and love. How do we that?
- Self-respect – Be mindful of your beliefs. Remember, there will always be people who will not like your ideas, beliefs and attitude of self assurance – their opinions simply do not matter.
- Courage – Create your own rules and standards that reflect your ideas and are in harmony with your true self. Have the courage to do what you believe is right. By doing so you will gain the inner strength and build your self-confidence.
- Boldness – Be focused on being truthful at every moment, Once you are less focused about the acceptance and potential rejection from others you will feel liberated; which will definitely make you more happy. You will then face the world with more profound peace and confidence.