Control freaks are found everywhere, in the form of colleagues, bosses, friends, relatives, and even spouses.
It common to come across control freaks at work as well as home.
Tolerance levels are at a nadir and selfish part of personality is on the rise. The sentiment permeates much of modern lifestyle.
Poor upbringing with self opinioned and over-assertive parents is the main cause of such a phenomenon that actually destroys the fun in any relationship.
It can be really difficult and draining to work with, or live with, somebody who is controlling. This is because they don’t see themselves as controlling. They see themselves as being right!
Whether it’s asking you to do things in a certain way, or micromanaging events, being around a control freak can be emotionally draining.
In order to learn how to handle such people, it is important to look at their psychology- the main reason why they behave this way. It is all about anxiety.
The controlling nature stems from an opinioned upbringing by anxious parents who expect to live their dreams through their children. It may also be due to just a generalized feeling of anxiety or one-up-manship.
A sure sign of such a behaviour is the need to stick to routines, making and following “rules of the house” and having an illusion of knowing exactly how things will turn out.
These are their subconscious ways of managing and controlling with a view to to view to avoid unforeseen issues and making the other person feel like a victim.
Such a behaviour can cause stress in relationships
So when someone is obsessively dictating how you should be or feel, remember that it’s less about you and more about their own insecurities.
How to handle ‘control freaks’?
Here are things that can be done to make being around these people more bearable.
1. Give them advance warnings of changes
Control freaks take time to get used to unexpected changes. Give them time to alter their expectations so that they can find the resources to deal the change.
2. Do not try to control them
Arguing with control freaks NEVER works – since they have spent their lives working on being right. Telling them anything different only makes them more disagreeable.
3. Start being assertive
Be confident and refuse to feel victimized. Control freaks are able to sense when you feel like a victim and tend to make a bee-line for you as they get a feeling of being less anxious when you start doing what they tell you.
Instead of trying to take control, just leave the situation.
Never give justifications; and instead trust your own judgement.
4. Being consistent
Remember, control freaks are always subconsciously looking for the ways to argue about their way of doing things!
They will jump at the opportunity to point out when you are wrong. Therefore, if you consistently stick to your methods and opinions, they will have to dealing with situations different from their opinion and will stop arguements with you.
Lastly, have the self respect and resolve to avoid being a victim by being tactful, assertive and understanding.
Tags: control freaks